A Fun Night of local Fights

Kalispell Montana, gateway to Glacier National Park, a sleepy little town plastered with sagging Trump posters and drowsy with disappointment where springs slides in on the memory of ice. Once every few months the place opens its eyes as Legendary Beat Promotions and Jessee Uhde stage an assortment of combat sports: pro boxing, amateur boxing, and MMA. Only judo is missing. Ranch-hands used to throwing around cattle are not impressed with the pushing, shoving, and tripping of two-legged characters. The fights are staged at the Guesthouse Inn and Suits in a venue slightly larger than a congressman's bathroom, but with less crap. The intimate environment is just the ticket to get the blood of the fans flowing and catch a little sweat in return. This is the kind of event one hopes to see in a Montana cow-town where one almost expects Bat Masterson to act as referee.


The main event featured Jaine Miranda knocking out Joe Desmond in the first round. Miranda was a tornado of boxing skills as he swarmed over his opponent, who at times resembled Paul Desmond but without the saxophone. Desmond gave the fight a good try but just could not compete with Miranda's considerable skills.

New boxing sensation Patrick Ferguson, from Spokane, Washington, decided to step up in opponents. He is being handled carefully since he has had limited amateur experience and has been learning on the job. So far he has either looked impressive because of his rapidly developing skills, or because his opponents have resemble canned tuna. Either way his skills are obvious. Fighting Skylar Thompson, 12-21, from Rockford, Illinois, might not seem like a step up but it is at least a step and, sometimes, when a fighter wants to fight as often as Ferguson, he has a limited number of opponents. (Even Joe Louis had his “bum-of-the-month” club.) Although Thompson has lost 21 fights, he has also won 12 of them. Whenever he has been evenly matched, he has always won making him a credible opponent. All his losses have been from fighters with winning records, many of them unbeaten.

A poor record, especially for someone with the potential of Thompson, can be attributed to many factors: poor conditioning, lack of interest, often being over-matched before a sufficient number of skills have been developed, short notice fights for quick money, and occasionally faulty management. Thompson’s losses have come at the hands of extremely experienced boxers. He is a true working fighter and a hurdle that new boxers must cross. If a fighter beats Thompson, he is ready for the next level of opposition. If he is a tomato can, he is at least unopened and there remains a lot of juice inside.

His boxing skills are evident, as he proved against Ferguson. So are Ferguson’s and it was Ferguson who showcased his proficiency and proved he is ready to move up again. Thompson ate two chicken sandwiches before the fight. After several Ferguson body shots those birds were clucking. Skylar went down in round 1 but managed to rise and seemed determined to win. He charged into Ferguson, who managed to swing to the left and popped him again. The bout was becoming a real fight and very entertaining.

By round 2 Skylar had shot his wad. He folded with a tremendous left hook body shot. He thought of rising but decided his life was more important than continuing. Getting as far as one knee, he sat there steaming like a pile of cow flop until he was counted out.

This was a real win for Ferguson against a momentarily legitimate opponent and was possibly the best fight in his short career.

For Ferguson's next fight, his acerbic manager, Ray Fry, has reached out to Blake MeKernan's team for a bout in Seattle but has received no response from their side. Fry, a bundle of bald-headed venom, had nothing good to say about MeKernan. "His team have track shoes for lips and their mouth's keep running," said Fry. MeKernan is a tough competitor and Fry cannot understand his reluctance to fight. "MeKernan is suffering from spine and stomach disorders;" Fry continued. "A yellow streak down his back and no guts. Or maybe he's just part of Trump's new military - heavy in the mouth but light between the legs." MeKernan, tired of the taunts from Ferguson's camp, blocked them from his Facebook. "With cowardly marines like this," said Fry, "it's no wonder we can't win a war in the middle east. Step up or step out. This is a game for men, not crying little boys who like to play soldier."

One could only feel sorry for Kenny Guzman in his fight against Jared Ereaux. Two of his opponents fell out. Fortunately they found one who was in the gym training for the single yard dash. Ereaux brought his best game, which happened to be Old Maid. Ereaux has all the boxing skill and finesse of a cattle prod. His first punch left him exhausted and his mouth started gasping for air like a landed fish. He was game enough and, after turning his back and crawling away on several occasions, managed to make it into the 2nd round when he tried to call out for oxygen, but didn't have enough breath to do it. The sign language was unsuccessful because of the gloves but the referee got the drift and stopped the fight. Guzman appears to have some real skill and is an entertaining fighter. It would be a pleasure to see him again against a real opponent.

The event was a fun and refreshing night with a packed house with people downing Budweiser and munching on pulled pork sandwiches. In keeping with today's lack of sophistication, the RAP music before the bouts featured more F works then one might find in "Little Joe the Wrangler." Jessee Udhe, who staged the event, said, "People in this town like to see the locals fight. We like to keep them happy." It is dedicated people like Udhe that are keeping boxing on life support.

 

AMATURE RESULTS:

 

Brandon Scholz by UD over Johnathan Kirkland

Timothy Dix by KO over Brandon Bailey

Mozi Gerber by TKO over Frank James

Chris Close by UD over Dan Pratt

Taylor Reed by TKO Dan Pratt (fighting for the second time)

 

Miranda by KO over Desmond

Ferguson by KO over Thompson

Guzman by TKO over Ereaux 

AMATURES 

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